“Yes. I’m talking about pornography. I have just had a four day affair with the least brilliant idea I’ve ever had.” (part 1)
So I was in bed two hours ago. I actually have to be up in 5.5 hours to go speak at my old treatment center about how I’m all better and stuff. I’m not all better. And I know if I write about this then it will take the power out of what’s going on because the only person who knows thinks it’s brilliant and it’s fucking not. I thought it was. I thought it was a brilliant idea to get paid thousands and thousands of dollars to sleep with someone on camera. Yes. I’m talking about pornography. I have just had a four day affair with the least brilliant idea I’ve ever had.
When I told my dad I wanted to stay in Florida, the end result was something I had not expect until later: “the bank is closed.” So I could go home to dad and have all of my shit taken care of, just as it has been for my entire life, or stay here with the family I’ve built and work my ass off.
I didn’t like either option. I wanted something easy.
Click.
Craigslist.
Gigs.
Need girls!
Webcam girls!
Hiring models & escorts!
Looking for nude models!
Adult film casting!
Cah-ching. The smell of easy. Fuck working forty hours while going to school, studying until my eyes are red and never sleeping. Fuck worrying about bills and what grocery store has the cheapest almond milk. Fuck all of that! So, fuck me instead!
I emailed and texted and talked to a very creepy guy on the phone. I referred to myself as a prostitute and a dominatrix. I laughed about things that made my stomach drop into my shoes…………
